It’s a staple of dating profiles: “What I really want is someone who can make me laugh.” But is it true? To get to the bottom of this, we asked five comedians the same question about love, humor, and how well the two mix. Here’s what they said.
The Question: The cliché is that everyone is looking for a romantic partner with a sense of humor. Yet comedians often talk about their relationship fails onstage. With that in mind, has your sense of humor helped or hurt your romantic life?
Kelly MacFarland
I think it helped me land my husband, after it kept me out of successful relationships for many years. But I don’t think it was necessarily my sense of humor. I think that my sense of humor helped me send out some bait. But once you see that I can’t control it, it kind of has a mind of its own, then some people couldn’t handle it. So I would say it’s a great way to attract people. And then some people are like, “Oh, this is a lot.” I think, with my husband, he liked that I was a comedian. He liked that I had a good sense of humor. He liked that I was outgoing and funny in social situations, and one on one. And I think he really appreciates it when I shut it down.
Hear Kelly MacFarland on the upcoming “Ladies of Laughter: Love at the Friar’s” compilation album, available soon on ladiesoflaughter.org.
Will Smalley
As a gay man, I feel like it’s a badge of honor. Humor is so prevalent in the culture that, when I’ve gone on dates, where there is a lack of humor or understanding of it, it almost feels alien. Dating in a queer culture, I use apps, because that’s the easier thing to do. Unless you go to a gay club or bar, it’s harder to know who to hit on. I feel like there’s two avenues — you’re either super sexy, whatever that means to the beholder, or use humor as a way to grab attention. I feel like humor is the kind of quickest way to either get to the nugget of your personality or hide the effects of the things that you lack.
Will Smalley co-hosts the Fringes Comedy Night with Andrew Mayer at The Haven in Jamaica Plain on Feb. 15. thehavenjp.com/eventscalendar
Corey Manning
My sense of humor has gotten me in the door, but also potentially kicked out of the house. So, yes, everyone is looking for someone who has a sense of humor. That’s a great opening catch. It’s sexy, it shows a person’s level of intelligence, their ability to be flexible, understanding, and compassionate. But if you do it too much, then your partner starts to question your ability to be serious. So that’s, for me, what happened. What I still try to get my wife to understand is my sense of humor is who I am. Just because I’m laughing and joking, doesn’t mean I’m necessarily not taking it seriously.
Corey Manning appears at Kowloon Komedy in Saugus on Feb. 17. kowloonrestaurant.com/kowloon-kalendar
Myq Kaplan
I think that it has, at times, hurt and helped. Earlier in my life and earlier in my career, when I was not as fully formed a human, a comedian, or a partner, I feel that I was flailing in many ways such that a sense of humor didn’t necessarily bring me together with partners in an optimal way. But I feel this is the important nugget. Now, my girlfriend who I love and I’ve been with for nearly seven years — we met because she saw my comedy and liked it. To me, a sense of humor is so important in a relationship. And I think that she’s so funny. And that’s why we’re together.
Myq Kaplan appears at Democracy Brewing on Feb. 17. myqkaplan.com
Katlin McFee
Because I’m funny and most people are not comedians, I’m OK at managing to date women out of my league, for sure. That’s definitely helped me in the past be kind of charming. But on the flip side, I think because I’m really into humor, if I’m gonna date someone, I need them to be funny. They kind of have to match my weird sense of humor. And that’s where things go wrong. When you’re seeing someone, you’re like: “OK, I need to watch this movie with someone to see if we’re a good fit.” That movie for me is the 2011 “Muppets” movie. That’s what I’m working with. If someone doesn’t like the most specific “Muppets” movie humor, then it’s not going to work.
Katlin McFee headlines Hideout Comedy at the White Bull Tavernon March 24-25. thewhitebulltavern.com
