By Nick A. Zaino III Globe correspondent,Updated July 15, 2022, 7:00 a.m.
Comedy fans will have no problem getting their fill in and around Boston the rest of the summer. With that in mind, here are 10 laugh lines from 10 comics who’ll be performing in clubs and theaters in the coming weeks.
“Privacy is so hard to come by these days. . . . I mean, it’s like you can’t even sit in front of a fountain with your head in your hands rocking back and forth, sobbing, without somebody coming up, taking a picture, and captioning it, ‘Current Mood.’” — Hannah Einbinder (Arts at the Armory, Somerville, July 21, artsatthearmory.org)
“I am an atheist, but I’m nothing if not ethically competitive. My husband and I, we found out that most religions, you’re supposed to give at least 10 percent of your income away to charity. So we’re giving 11. We don’t even [expletive] believe in heaven, but we’re going!” — Maria Bamford (The Wilbur, July 24, thewilbur.com)
“My mama made us go to church. Made us. We hadn’t even sinned yet, we still had to go to church. ‘All right, get up! You are going to church!’ ‘Mama, can’t the preacher come here sometimes? We always going to him.’” — Chris Tucker (The Wilbur, July 30, thewilbur.com)
“Of course, [baseball’s] too commercialized, it’s getting ridiculous. You turn on the TV, ‘All right, in case you’re just tuning in, the Mets are down to their final two Maxwell House outs here in the bottom half of the Pringles ninth inning. They’ve scored two Rolaids runs and they have a Texaco baserunner on first. Johnson looks in, gets the Chevrolet sign, goes to the Heineken stretch. Here’s the Pepsi pitch. There’s a Sears ground ball to shortstop, the Pizza Hut flip to second and the Valvoline toss to first, and it’s a Home Depot double play!’” — Mike Donovan (Nick’s Comedy Stop, Aug. 12-13, nickscomedystop.com)
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